Gomez's friend is playing football. As a result, he initiated and then would not let me out of a conversation about wearing cups.
Gomez: Boys who play football have to wear them. Did you know?
Me: I did.
Gomez: What are they made out of?
Me: I have no earthly idea.
Gomez thinks they're made out of cardboard because Mason has already ruined one.
Gomez: Will I have to wear one?
(Me): (Only if you have a vascectomy later? is what I wanted to say.)
Me: I don't know (is what I did say.)
Gomez continued with further details and I tried to listen as minimally as possible, imagining I now finally understood in a visceral way, the discomfort men feel when women discuss tampons and their periods. Because, I. Do. Not. Want. To. Think. About. Balls.
Just about the time I was desperately searching for a way out of the conversation, about the time when I considered bringing up tampons as a way to get out of talking about cups, Gomez goes, "I think they should be made of gold if you win a game."
Then he mentioned the women's world cup and...
And then I died of laughter.