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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Birthday party "theme"

At breakfast we were discussing a problem with my son's upcoming birthday party. The plan had been to have the kids sleep in a pop-up camper but there's been a bear in our neighborhood lately attacking the trashcans, so I'm having visions of children needing to go to the bathroom and running into a bear. Or a bear attacking the camper with  me and six eight-year-olds and what on earth am I going to do exactly? So we're thinking we'll have the kids sleep in the house. But of course Mars wants a different option and so brings up how he and all the other eight year olds could just have knives to defend themselves. This is obviously both stupid and inadequate but he needs proof to be dissuaded.

This turned to a conversation about a bear attack Rob knew of where a man decided he was a bear whisperer and he and his girlfriend would "train" bears. He'd supposedly figured out how to read the bear's signals or some such stupidity that made a massive aggressive animal not ready to murder him. You can see where this is going. There was an audio recording. The man recorded himself and his girlfriend being eaten by the bear. I realized the conversation had taken a slightly terrifying turn and was like, "perhaps I should change the subject."

So I started talking about Mars's fortnite themed birthday party. I brought up the pinata.

And Gomez goes, "maybe we could get a bear eating a child pinata!"