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Tuesday, December 20, 2016

I had a dream I was stapling my six-year-old son to the inside of a box by his clothing to "wrap" him and send him to his grandmother for Christmas. We were both laughing so hard it was making it hard for me to properly "wrap" him with the staple gun. Merry Christmas, make of this what you will...

Tuesday, December 6, 2016


Do you ever find yourself so tired that you try desperately and for long, long moments to deconstruct your toddler's argument in an effort to see if his logic is sound?

Like he goes, "It can't be December fifth because we already did the day before yesterday."
And then your mind is like, wait WAS the day before yesterday the fifth? Is he right? Wait, if he's right, does that mean it's really Decemver 7 because it shouldn't be the fifth because that one did already happen. And yes, I just typed Decemver but that's because I think he might be right and December might not even be a month. It might be the month when the day before yesterday. And because I'm super tired, I can't figure it out.

Ever wondered that? And then been like, nuh uh, "he's not right, you idiot! He doesn't even have a concept of what December means! He just learned to count to twelve a week ago, before which it was "one, two, fee, six""
But then you realize that you just questioned whether it was December or Decemver and Decemver is really growing on you...